Unused Napkin: BLOG TOUR: Spencer by Kerry Heavens

Wednesday, 13 May 2015

BLOG TOUR: Spencer by Kerry Heavens

@TheSpencerRyan exudes confidence,
I mean, have you seen him???
His dark good looks and tattooed muscled perfection are too much.
He's hot. Lickably hot.
And he has a way with words that leaves me breathless.
But cocky doesn't even cover it,
this guy is so arrogant you have to fight back.
But God he's so lickable!
The thing is though, he looks like sex
but he'll taste like jackass.

@OMGJazzyP is a sexy, annoying ball of rage in f*ck-me heels
and she hates me.
Although her ni₱₱les would tend to disagree.
It's a deadly combination.
She’s a princess.
And when I say princess, I mean intolerable, spoiled brat with a tiara.
Sure she's got that curvaceous goddess thing going on,
but that mouth of hers...
God it needs something in it to shut it up.
#GotJustTheThingRightHere

This is not your average British romance.
It's a tale of high heels, hot tattooed bad boys
and sex oranges, all wrapped up in a coating of chocolate.
It's 'love' in a social media world, where not everyone is who they seem
and where some people’s bios should carry a warning.
#JustSayin

The sight and smell that greets me is just the same as it was yesterday. Bowls and utensils everywhere; and an incredible smell of chocolate and trays with neat lines of rolled truffles. Except today, I notice it. How did I miss all this crap yesterday, chocolate usually comes above everything!
Oh, but yesterday I was on a mission.
Drooling, I head around the counter and pick up a ball of chocolate from one of the trays, savouring it as the flavours explode in my mouth. Dark chocolate with some kind of boozy fruit flavour. God, it’s good.
And she did this?
She’s dangerous.
A woman who looks like her, thinks like her, wears those shoes, gives me shit and makes stuff like this, is a danger.
If I had a heart, I’d be falling in love.
I come to a big bowl of soft looking chocolate goo with a spatula sitting in it. I dip my finger in the gooey goodness and lift it to my mouth.
Holy hell! That is f*cking amazing. It’s ginger and dark chocolate with some alcohol.
Damn. I want to put my face in the bowl. I glance around, then shrug. Lifting the spatula out, with a decent scoop, I lean against the counter and take a good long lick.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she barks as she comes into the kitchen.
“Just having a taste, Princess,” I reply, turning to let her see me take another lick.
She storms over, trying to grab the spatula out of my hand. Good luck with that sweetheart, this is me and chocolate. You ain’t getting it back.
“You can’t just wander in here whenever you feel like it.”
“The door was open.”
“Give that back!” she demands, catching hold of it. For a second we both pull at it, but then I see an opportunity and let go. Chocolate splatters her face, neck and chest and stops her dead in her tracks.
I choke on a laugh.
She looks at me, mouth open, “You did that on purpose!”
I shrug.
She glances down at the mess on her chest and my eyes follow, locking in on her begging nipples, visible through her dress. She looks embarrassed.
“It’s ok, Princess, I know they like me even if you don’t. Happens whenever I’m around.”
“It does not!”
“Mmmm-ok.”
I step closer. She backs off, but I catch her arm and pull her close.
"What are you doing?” she gasps.
“I don’t waste chocolate,” I reply softly and then lean in and swipe my tongue over her temple.
She wriggles, but it’s a weak effort. “Get off me,” she demands.
“Hold still, Princess, it's all over you.” I take another lick at her cheek and move down to her neck. “Ok, that’s enough,” she snaps, her breath catching in her throat as I suck in her earlobe.
I lick her neck just below her ear even though there’s no chocolate there and the way her head falls slightly back in surrender makes me swallow hard. “It’s never enough,” I murmur.
What the f*ck?
I shake the sappy shit out of my head before I grow a vagina, and pluck the spatula out of her hand, painting a trail down her cleavage. Dropping the spatula on the floor, I grab her by the arse and lift her so that I can lick it all off. She yelps and struggles and I plonk her down on the kitchen counter, leaning forward and feasting on the stripe I painted between her breasts. Her dress is ruined, shame, I quite liked it.

REVIEW

RATING:

*Complimentary ARC received from author*

Oh to be internet famous!

I have to admit this is not my generation in which one feels it's ok for one's entire life to be practically laid out for the public to see via social media. No, I'm not a complete Luddite as here I am blogging after all and I do FB, IG and Twitter, with limits (lotsa them) but in this day and age, while I don't fully understand it, I get that this is ok to be one's thing, I think...

Spencer is who I think of as kinda' internet famous where enough people on the internet know of him and are interested in him. He's confident and I can see why because there's enough women (let's face it, I'm sure they're all "women") who hangs on to his words, and looks, of course. I want to say he's d0uche-y arrogant too, and not in an endearing way, but I suppose even if I did say he is, it did kinda' became endearing, thanks to having access to his thoughts and his interactions with the people who really know him. And I do have to add, for all of Spencer's cocky attitude, there's no denying that dude knows how to heat you up with his words, and moves!

Jazz is your regular chick with regular dreams and neurotic thoughts at times, regular relationship pitfalls, and regular conversations. I get it. I get her. I like her. She's funny, feisty and fab friend. I may not approve it but I totally love that batsh!t crazy thing she did near the end with the pool table:p

Now Spencer and Jazz put together is one heck of a combination. Putting those 2 together, it's antagonistic at times but not off-putting, It's funny with a bit of bite. Their tweets are hilarious! #PsychoCinderella! HAH! And their DMs are sizzlin' smokin' hot! So imagine how it was outside their DMs. Uh-huh!

I thought it was interesting how a real person, who's the cover of this book, is what led Kerry down this path of Spencer. And, oh, yes, this is a first Kerry read for me, even though I've had her Just Human series lingering on my TBR, and glad I got the chance to read this. I did so quite enjoy this one.